A Case Study About Gold Digging

In elementary school, fallacious rumors spread about my gold digging habits. Whether or not my reputation manifested from a sighting of nose picking or simply from the the alliterative pairing of “Booger” and “Brager” remains under scrutiny. However, according to a case report in Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, nose picking is not an unusual behavioral phenomenon reserved for nerds and other “Nauseating P. Greens” (from Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging), but rather the average person picks his or her nose an average of FOUR times per day (yes Marc, it’s true that you may have been picking your nose in the candid photo Boy Jessie took yesterday).
If gold digging occurs more frequently, however, this may be a predisposing symptom of a body dysmorphic disorder known as RHINOTRICHTILLOMANIA; it’s time for a lesson in Latin declensions (rhino=nose + trichtillomania = obsession with plucking hairs = obsession with picking nose and/or nose hairs). In severe cases, persistent gold digging and nose hair plucking can become harbingers of nose bleeds and infections!
In other words, it is best to leave gold digging to the trophy wives.

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